Zhao Lusi cries on livestream after accusing the company！I Mars Intelligence Agency Season
Crazy. Na na na na na. I got your melody. I got your melody. Na na na na na na. Ha ha Ha ha Meeting on Earth is the most annoying. Meeting on Mars is the best. Because we are the Mars Intelligence Agency. Oh wow. Thanks to Youku, our friendly Earth unit, for their support. This program is sponsored by the hottest China Wallace, which is loved by Mars agents. exclusively title-sponsored. Thanks to China Wallace. This program is sponsored by Mommy Agent and the worry-free Jiu Jiu Jiu children’s cold medicine co-sponsored. Wow! It’s been three years, and I’m finally back. Friends, thank you, Daddy. I’m back. I’m so happy today. I saw the snow fox that I haven’t seen for a long time. and Ruth. Really. They are all good. They’re all good. But it’s strange. But surprisingly, the director didn’t come back today. The director is not here. Where did the director go? The director went to Earth. He has an important mission to complete. So this time, he might come, or he may not. What should we do? Have you been looking forward to this day for a long time? It seems you haven’t been waiting long. Oh, ha ha ha. It’s like this. We can be excused. May I ask who you are? Ha ha ha, what do you mean by that? This lady with such a high hairline. Ha ha ha, after several seasons of accumulation, the director found a problem. What’s the problem? He thinks that are not very mature in mind. Oh, you mean you’re not very intelligent, right? you all have a childlike mentality. So he thinks that if there is no parent here, you wouldn’t have a good meeting. he called me over. because I have more experience in taking care of kids. Wow, Qi Wei. What should I say here? It’s so funny to do manicure on gloves. Ha ha ha. It’s onychomycosis inside, ha ha ha. One infects two. Ha ha ha. Who said that? No need. Ah ah ah, no, ah ah ah. I’m the new deputy director of Mars, Qi Wei. besides managing all the agents, Director, we have invited a very important the Mars Conference Observer. This senior he has a wealth of experience. So urgent. He has been working in the language field for fifty years. Oh my god. So let’s give him a warm round of applause Let’s welcome the Mars Conference Observer. Please. Who is it? Let’s welcome Mr. Jiang Kun with applause. Wow! Wow, Jiang Kun. Jiang Kun, Jiang Kun, Jiang Kun, Jiang Kun, Jiang Kun. Jiang Kun. Hello, friends. I think I’m immersed in a very young world. please allow me, a retired old man in his seventies, to join your world, okay? Wow. Yeah! Welcome, Teacher Jiang Kun. Teacher Jiang Kun is not only a cross-talk artist and host, but also the first variety show in China. Yes, it’s Zhengda Variety Show. I believe many friends have watched the grand variety show. Among them, there is World is Wonderful. It will be broadcast to you in the form of live puzzles. I’m studying to be a host. Teacher Jiang Kun is written in our textbook. You should know Yang Di best. Because Yang Di is now the king of variety shows. Oh, no. Teacher Zhang, I have a new identity now. Because there was a hot search during the recording the standard for whether you are doing well in the Chinese is whether you can meet Yang Di. So I am a trendsetter for variety shows. Yes, Teacher Jiang Kun. now, right? Yes, ha ha ha. I have been recognized by Yang Di. Ha ha ha. Xue Zhiqian, I’ve been looking for you for a long time. Why have you been looking for me for a long time? Because when you performed at the Bird’s Nest in Beijing, Ha ha ha. I was also watching that day. I was in a nearby hall, I was watching the Russian ice ballet. Teacher Wang, you have a good taste. But after the show, I suddenly felt that I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t get out. They said Xue Zhiqian his concert had also ended. and the road was blocked. I asked which one was Xue Zhiqian. Oh, I’ve seen him. I must deal with him well when I see him. Ha ha ha. I want to praise him. Oh, I’m sorry for causing you trouble. He’s too famous. I’ve been performing for three consecutive days. You didn’t go back for three days? I scolded you for the next two days. Ha ha ha. Oh. Just kidding. Ha ha ha. Teacher Zhang Kun, I really want to ask you. Please tell me. I hope to call you I’m called Seven Brother. I should be called sister. Why do you call him brother? He has a strong personality, so everyone calls him Brother Seven. Ha ha ha. May I ask, Teacher Jiang Kun, what you prefer to be called. Young people young people like to use abbreviations. I call myself JK. OK. oh JK. JK, is that okay? Just kidding, just kidding. Oh. Oh, okay. Hey. Has JK watched our show before? Yes, I have. So you still have an impression of everyone. For example, this one standing up, this Weiwei. Hey. Yes. Whoa they k hahaha. Bula biu bula biu bula biu bula biu hahaha. Wow. This is Lucas. Many people have introduced him to me. but they didn’t introduce his surname. I thought his surname was Hu. Hulusi, hahaha. Ha ha ha. Okay. JK, I’ll call myself Hulu Si from now on. Hulusi. Ha ha ha. It seems to be related to ice cream next. Hello, JK. I’m Xuefu. I used to be the deputy director, but after Brother Han left, I became an agent. Ha ha ha, yes. Is this a demotion? It’s not really. Every time Xuefu finishes speaking, she’s as cold as her name. It’s so cold. The whole action. But today, he really wants to talk. because he is not the deputy director. he will sit in that position from now on. he must tell stories. Ha ha ha, oh dear. Right? I’m looking forward to it. I’m really looking forward to it. I’m really looking forward to it. Is this a training? I think, ha ha ha. I’m Jin Zhiwen. I’m also a veteran agent of the Mars Intelligence Bureau. Yes. Actually, I, Lu Si and Xue Fu have the same contribution in the Mars Intelligence Agency. That is, we contribute laughter. They laugh beautifully. I laugh loudly. Ha ha ha. That’s about the volume, ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Today, you can speak freely. I’ll laugh at whatever you say. Okay. Hi, Xiao K, hi, Xiao K. Okay. They all say you are funny, but I don’t think you have many funny things. Ha ha ha ha ha. You’re so sharp. You’re so sharp. JK, this season won’t disappoint you. Okay. JK, these agents just now are all old agents. This time we have recruited a group of new agents and funny new agents. Let’s introduce ourselves together. Come on, this deep-V gentleman. JK, we are colleagues. I’m a rap singer. Okay. Yeah, you know what’s up. Oh, what’s up? Oh, it’s hip hop. Why is hip hop laughing at me like this? Oh, yeah. I didn’t expect that. We made it. Why did you pull me out? Ha ha ha. I’m Zhang Yanqi. My name is Zhang Yanqi. I’m a rap singer. My sense of humor is very dense. It’s like a three-pointer. I shock the audience as soon as I appear. I’m the biggest idiot in the Mars Intelligence Agency. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I haven’t been introduced yet. Hello everyone, I’m Fu Shaoer, Fu Ma. Fu Shaoer sent me a WeChat message last night. What should I say? I’m so nervous. I’ve never been on such an unreasonable show. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. and absurd show. Yes, let me show you. What is it like when you tell a story? Don’t collapse. Ha ha ha. Introduce yourself to JK. I’m actor Li Chuan. But in fact, I’m also a comedian with a lot of followers. I have participated in some comedy shows, But those comedy shows were not broadcast. But, Can you at least tell us why they didn’t air? We can and know how to keep a certain distance from you. Ha ha ha, we cherish our feathers very much. Have you seen the annual comedy competition? Yes, I have. In the first season, I brought Zhang Chi. In the second season, I brought Xin Zai. Are you their agent? Ha ha ha. They are my partners. Ha ha ha, although I’m not lucky, but I’m lucky for my friends. You see, Zhang Chi and Xin Zai are my friends. They came out. So this time I come to Mars, I also hope to bring good luck to everyone on Mars. Thank you, it’s okay. Great, great, great. Hello everyone, I’m Xiaolu. I am a comedian. and I used to be a lawyer. So I will bring you some stories I will bring you some stories of legal beauties. But because I have been, uh, not a lawyer for many years, so now I’m just a simple family member. Ha ha ha. People should just be. Ha ha ha. I have known Xiaolu for a long time, Because people often said on the internet that she was my sister and look like me. Ha ha ha. Later, her company refused to talk about it. Ha ha ha. But I have to say that he is also a senior in stand-up comedy. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, you two must have been partners, right? When Xiaolu performed, Teacher Jiang Kun was also watching ballet next door. Hello everyone, I’m Chen Zhuoxuan. Wow, you look so shiny. It’s so beautiful. Every time I’m invited to a show, every time they invite me, they need me to have some function. Functional, functional. And I said that if I came here, I’ll be the successor of Sister Shen Mengchen. Wait a minute. I don’t want to be a successor, but an heir. Ah ah ah. I feel like Shen Mengchen is lying in bed, ha ha ha. Second. Ah ha ha ha ha. You’re amazing. You dare to take over Shen Mengchen’s job. You can be funny again. and you are very good. Can you be funnier than Shen Mengchen? What? Hahaha. You are so deaf, it’s unnecessary. How can you inherit it? Come on. Our most terrifying laughter recorder is back. Oh, oh, oh. So, I want to focus on introducing the laughter recorder sitting across from us. who defeated the Japanese team at the Universiade who won the championship, Chinese basketball player Liu Yutong. She is a potential star of the Chinese women’s basketball team. She is called the female version of O’Neal. Moreover, This title was certified by Shaquille O’Neal himself. Wow. And Yu Tong has a very cute nickname, Big baby. Let’s invite Dababy to say hello to everyone. Hello everyone, I’m Liu Yutong, a women’s basketball player. Thank you all. Our laughter recorder will record the performance of each agent. According to the value of funny points you contribute, to select the ace agent of each episode. Hey, we will evaluate the contribution of three dimensions of punchlines, golden quotes, and complete stories to evaluate the contribution of the senior agents. Making the audience laugh once is like making two points in a basketball game. If there is an impressive golden sentence, it’s like making a three-pointer. Taking the joke is an assist. Off-topic is out of bounds. If you fail to tell the story completely, it’s like a steal, losing the chance to score. In general, we need to select from the most objective perspective to select the funniest story and the person who tells the funniest story. Hey. In a word, the funniest one is the ace agent of this episode. Finally, we can start our first experience today. The first experience of each season is generally very, very important. Generally, such tasks I or Xue Zhiqian usually take on these tasks. Well, let’s make an exception today, shall we? Let’s make an exception. After all, we are already deputy directors. Yes yes yes. There’s no need to compete with everyone for the identity. Oh, what you said. Ha ha. The first proposal of this season. Liu Wei comes. As a veteran of Mars Intelligence Agency for six seasons, I want to tell you what kind of bureau the Mars Intelligence Bureau is. It’s a friend bureau. Since we are friends here, we must talk about some topics among friends. Are you ready? Ready? I’m afraid I’ll cry. I haven’t said this word for a long time. Just cry. Just cry. You can cry later. I found that Oh, oh, oh. the earthlings always break down for no reason. Crazy. What nonsense is this? Ha ha ha. I really miss it. Liu Wei, I really miss your move. Really. Yes, it’s so low. Ha ha ha. This time, my experience is that Earthlings always break down for no reason. In fact, it’s everywhere around us young people. Some young people will break down when they are unhappy, and when they are moved, they will break down. So today, I want to use this topic to expose the agents here you know the most private to make all these breaking points public. Okay. I must say, I’m on the road of being broken. there is someone who has always been a stumbling block. Who? Xue Po Fang, ha ha ha. Since I entered this industry, Joker Xue has always made me break down. Why? In two thousand and five, I was also a singer. What does it mean to be born as a singer? A singer is born to be a singer. Born to be a singer. I was born a singer. No, no. Ha ha ha. Because I debuted in the same competition as him. Later, I won the championship. and he was in the top four. Later, he became very popular, while I’m just average. Ha ha ha. So I’m very frustrated. In fact, in Xue Zhiqian’s life, often makes his friends around him very angry. Because I often record announcements with Joker Xue. And every time we record a notice, I always go to his live streaming room with a delicate look. not a live broadcast room, Ha ha ha. It’s not a dressing room. And then, You know I always wear full makeup. When we meet, we encourage each other. When I come in, I say, Hey, Xue Zhiqian, long time no see. and then he would do his hair and looked at me like this. You’re so fat. Ha ha ha. How much do you eat every day? Can you lose some weight? Is it that exaggerated? Really, Xue Zhiqian. We all talk about you behind your back. Ha ha ha. You’re really getting fat. You’re really fat. Then the whole team in the dressing room said Fatty, fatty, fatty. Ha ha ha, it’s so annoying. Then later, because Xue Zhiqian kept saying I was fat, I tried my best to lose weight. I was at the peak of my life, looking handsome. very thin and handsome. And then I recorded with Joker Xue again. And then Joker Xue and he painted again. and still look like this. He took a closer look, we really look old. Ha ha ha. we are really old. Being a little fat doesn’t make you look older. Ha ha ha. You’re so picky. Ha ha ha. Oh, I’m sad. You are our Jiang Kun, Lao Jiang. Teacher Zhang, are you tired? Teacher Jiang Kun has already sat down. Ha ha ha. Teacher Zhang, you look like you’ve already Forty minutes. completely broken. Ha ha ha, just sit for a while. We can’t let JK brother sit so low. Teacher Jiang Kun is like this. We must be lower. Ha ha ha. We are polite. Ha ha ha. and very polite. Ha ha ha. Why are you so revealing today? Wait a minute. Are you polite? Are the director team polite? I haven’t finished my story yet, ha ha ha. Besides, you are lowering yourself in front of me. Are you polite? Ahahahaha. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Weiwei, continue, hold on. Okay, thank you, director team, thank you. Ha ha ha. Later, Lao Xue did something that broke my heart the most. Oh, as we all know, Joker Xue writes songs. one word is expensive. expensive. Yes, it’s expensive. It’s expensive. Ha ha ha, expensive. Am I wrong? Expensive. Ah, okay. What is SF? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Ha ha ha. This is funny, one point. Big baby, remember this. Ha ha ha, this is a joke without culture. It’s good. Shut up, you shorty. Little dwarf, ha ha ha. This is also funny, write it down. Ugly monster, hahaha, crazy. Weiwei is crazy, hahaha. He said I’m ugly. Teacher Jiang Kun, I’m not polite. Shut up. You didn’t look like this before. Unbelievable. Wow, that’s too much. This is something only good friends would say. Only a really good friend can say this. can say this. How can you tell the truth? What did you look like originally? Okay, let’s not talk about this topic anymore. Ha ha ha, old man. Ha ha ha. Photos, photos. Let’s see it on a big screen. Ha ha ha. Please sit down. Huh. It’s Lao Xue. the songs he wrote he must be Three. It’s been six years since I’ve been waiting for it. for so long. But there is one thing that really broke my heart. It’s the song Hide Me. this song, only charged one yuan for copyright fees. Wow! So no matter no matter how broken you are in life, you should cherish cherish the friends around you who make you sad. Actually, you don’t need to be broken. Many of his previous words were concerned about you. I think he is sincere. So I think many of our relatives’ words just say something about you, They say you’re fat, you’re really fat. They say you’re old, and you’re really old. Relatives say that because they care about you. right? So don’t be upset. Huh? The real thing that breaks you is something that doesn’t concern you. Someone puts it on your head. That’s what breaks the defense. Xue Zhiqian just asked me if you were still there. which also made me feel sad. Ha ha ha. I didn’t mean that. Are you still there? Are you still there? I mean, maybe the teacher was just distracted. I’m not in this position. Don’t talk nonsense. I’m not that rude. Ha ha ha. Once, I saw a photo of me posted online, which was a sculpture of me. and then it started to spread that I had passed away. The point is that many people called my wife Is everything okay at home? because they only dared to call your lover, and they didn’t dare to call you directly. Ha ha ha. They saw you didn’t answer, They were afraid that I would say something scary. Ha ha ha. What should I do? How scary! Then I told my friend Chen Peisi about it. my friend Chen Peisi. Chen Peisi said, Kun, ignore them. I’ve died more than forty times. Ha ha ha. Fortunately, Mr. Jiang Kun specifically mentioned this matter. Because I have also seen this on the software. You thought it was true, right? I also kept one of these. Ha ha ha. What’s that? Yao Di is rude. No, ha ha ha. It’s just that everyone misunderstood. maybe because of the words below might easily lead to misunderstandings. Teacher Jiang Kun should form a group with your brothers the Resurrection Alliance. Ha ha ha, indeed. Many artists have been mistakenly reported dead. When I was forty, I was said to have passed away. Yes. Okay, if you have such needs, please come to our program to clarify, okay? I clarify that I’m still alive. I’m here. Surprise, la la la. It’s me, it’s me. Ha ha ha. I also broke down. One day, I just entered the classroom I felt something was wrong. As soon as I entered, everyone just looked at me silently. I found someone laughing, ha ha ha. I was thinking to myself Could it be that someone was going to confess to me? Is it true? Wait a minute. So confident. Ha ha ha. Then I saw someone talking nearby. Wow, you’re so pretty. So beautiful, so beautiful. Just like this. Ha ha ha. Then I quietly sat back in my seat. Then the girl sitting next to me said, I like you. Girl, girl, girl. No, no, no, no. I thought I was acting this part. Girl, girl. And then? She touched me like this, and then like this, like this. He asked me to look at the pencil case next to me. Let you look at the pencil case. I thought Ha. Is it a note in the pencil case? Huh, so childish. Ha ha ha. So confident. Then I just snapped I opened it. I was completely defeated. What’s this? A love note. I saw in my pencil case there was a green parasite. I’m most afraid of the kind of meaty, moving, writhing one. It’s so disgusting. Then because I was too scared, I ate it. Wow, I have a new dish. Ha ha ha. I pretended to be calm inside. I just grabbed it I used all my strength, and threw it on the ground. I threw the bug to death. Then a diamond ring fell out of it. Ha ha ha. It turned out to be a confession. Ha ha ha. I like you. Ha ha ha. Are you crazy, Yang Di? You’re crazy. And then another time, I was very upset that there was a boy behind me. For example, you are the boy behind me. I sat in front of you. I was busy. And at that time, my hair was very long, just like now. but now it’s fake. Don’t pull too hard. It will fall off. What should I pull? Pull your hair. Yes. Boys liked to pull girls’ hair back then. Because he might like you. He wanted to get your attention. You think the same as me. Whenever a classmate did something to him, Does he like me? Ha ha ha, how narcissistic. But suddenly one day, he took out a lighter. Was it a lollipop lighter? It was a big one, ha ha ha. You think the same as me. besides the smell of the lighter itself, there was a smell of burning hair. I quickly smoothed my hair forward I found a lump that had already been burned here. It’s burnt. You know when girls’ hair is stuck here, Are you kidding me? If you don’t like me, that’s fine. There are so many people who might like me. How could you burn my hair? You pull it up. Then throw it on the ground. Ha ha ha. Then a diamond ring fell out. Ha ha ha. After hearing so many questions, I just want to ask you seven a question. Has anyone really confessed to you? Ha ha ha. There is one. There is one. Li Chenxuan. Oh.